first night of the new experience

First night at school... it was do different. Just will take time to get use to. But it was good... more about it tomorrow.. night night time for me.

The end is coming.. with a new beginning

So this is really starting to hang on my shoulders now. I leave in 2 days.. can you believe it. it is coming so soon. I want to just scream. i am getting so nervous... I dont think i am ready now. i want to leave but i am not ready..

the things i do for you..

Why is it that everytime you tell me one ting, and i do it, then you get mad. It hurts. I change everything around for you and then you dont like when i do. i do things for you and you dont appreciate them. Do you really love me?
in 10 days this wont be happening. But i will still love you.
I will always love you

What really is Love?

What really is LOVE? Define that word really. Does it mean that you just love someone asif it was your brother or maybe love as you want to be with the person for the rest of your life? Give me one thing that really tells me what that might be. I don’t think I really believe in LOVE. I believe in Lust or envy over a person but right now not love. What really is lust then? Is lust and love the same thing? Could it be? When you are my age, is there really even a difference. I honestly don’t think so. I think being in the point I am or anyone really is right now, might be like looking for a good time but not that committed of a thing. But maybe I am. I am ready to find something that I can always look at and say I am so lucky. I am lucky to have this person next to me that loves me for me. Could that ever happen? Have someone love you for you? Is that even possible? I was talking one time to my friend Allison and we were talking about love and relationships. Being the type of person I am that when I want something I go for it. I don’t just stand around and wait. I go for it and if something doesn’t work out, I move on. Right now, I have this guy in my life. He makes me so happy but I am wondering what is going to happen in what 18 days, when I go to school. Will he still feel the same way about me or just dump me to the curb and move on? When I said I didn’t believe in love, I have changed my mind because I now think that if you find the right person you can believe in love. I honestly think I have found the person that really makes me happy, and could possible for the rest of my life.
Do you think about that ever? Have you maybe already found the person that you will be with for the rest of your life? Is it possible at this young of an age? Why is it that most people wait to get married? If you are ready then you know you’re ready. No one should tell you what you know about your own self. You know yourself better than anyone in the world except God but he made you. He knows who you are going to marry.
What if you got the chance, for one day, to see who you will marry and what you might be doing in the future? I might want to see who I would marry because what if I meet that person and the feelings are not there. What if I let that guy go past me? What if he is my best guy/friend and nothing ever happens till I am 50 and can’t have kids. What if I am dating him right now?

Just one night and a little more

sitting at the lake really makes everything better. Watching the sun go down and then watching the stars come up is one of the best things that God ever created. When i see the light from the stars in your eyes it makes my knees go weak. Gosh you have me in the palm of you hands. Right where you want me. But what is going to happen when we both are at school. far away from each other. its going to really suck. why is that when i find one good thing in my life i have to leave or something happens to it. I think i am falling for you and i just cant stop my self.

here is to school... Lady panthers baby! Only 18 days left till i go to school. Sha and i are super excited. I cant wait to meet all these new people. I hope welcome week is going to be fun!

SO here is to new experiences and going off to a new place